The fool being foolish (sorry for the terrible rhymes)
An Erotic Alphabet
A is for anal – One of my earliest and favorite fetishes. Ass play really gets my motor running. It’s kinky. It’s nasty. It’s tight and feels good. It’s a good way to inflict pleasure or pain. Basically everyone can play. How can you go wrong?
B is for bukkake – Cum play can be pretty hot, although some of this stuff can go a little too far. Occasionally it can really get me going however. Like that beautiful asian news reporter getting covered in cum as she gives the news cast. I think I find it arousing because it’s totally surreal and bizarre.
C is for cunnilingus – The fastest way to most women’s hearts is through eating their pussies. Yummy! And cummy! Licking a nice, wet, pretty little kitty is a gift from the gods.
D is for deepthroat – As a person with a penis, I have to say there’s nothing quite like being balls deep in someone’s mouth. It’s tight, hot, and feels amazing. The sloppier, the better.
E is for erotica – Dirty stories make the world go round. I like reading freaky shit and I like writing freaky shit. Better than porn in a lot of ways because it makes you use your imagination. And nothing can match, for you personally, what your own kinky mind brings to the table.
F is for fisting – Pussy or ass. One hand or two. It really gets me going. Deep and dirty. It’s fun for the (w)hole family.
G is for group sex – Threesomes. Foursomes. And moresomes. If you get the right group of people together, the sky’s the limit on the different varieties of pleasure that can be had.
H is for hentai – The Japanese have some fucked up porn and this is no exception. Sometimes however some of that freaky shit gets my cock hard. Admit it. You like some of it too.
I is for incest – Definitely not for everyone, but the fun that can be had in this realm is extraordinary. One of my favorite taboos. When combined with other kinky shit, this can take the cake. Come on, you know you’ve at least had some fleeting fantasies about your hot cousin or your sexy aunt or uncle.
J is for jacking or jillng off – Self-love is my first love. There’s nothing quite like working your own self up. It’s also quite nice to have it done for you. Wank it bitches!
K is for kneeling – Kneeling at your master’s or mistress’s feet, or having someone kneel for you is a special submissive treat. Giving or having power in a sexual context can be incredibly intoxicating.
L is for lube – If you want a smooth ride when you stick it inside, use some lube. It’s a must if you’re gonna look for some back door action. It’s also quite nice for reducing friction between a nice set of tits.
M is for milf – Sexy mommies can really get my blood flowing. A mature woman who knows what she likes is super hot. Cougars too work well for my freaky fantasies. What can I say? I have problems.
N is for nipples – Hard nips are hot as fuck. To squeeze or pinch and even suck. Many types of tramps even like them in clamps.
O is for orgasm – No matter how you get there, who doesn’t like to come their brains out? What’s your best O face?
P is for plugs – Butt plugs are great. I like seeing them in someone’s ass, as well as wearing them. They can feel amazing when you cum (see above)! I also love making my slut wear them in public. It makes her feel so nasty and turned on. Ready to be assfucked at any time. Yay!
Q is for quickies – Sometimes a nice hot, intense fuck really fits the bill. Urgent needs and overwhelming passion. In private or public. Let’s fuck!
R is role playing – Bringing your fantasies to life can be tons of fun. Nurse and patient or kinky cop who accepts sexual bribes. Break in burgler who takes what s/he finds. Want to be a princess or to bring out your inner slut? Or maybe you want to fuck mommy or daddy, sister or brother? Whatever you can think of, you can make it happen in your imagination.
S is for spanking – Some people take it too far, but a naughty sub needs to be punished with some slaps on the ass. Sluts get wet from a nice firm hand upon the backside. Others get hard from being properly flogged. Some women like a swat to the twat, the clit or the tit. Perverts need their punishment.
T is for tentacles – Back to the freaky Japanese porn. Tentacle sex can be quite insane, but if you can wrap your mind around it, can titillate the brain. Ultimate horror or absolute pleasure. Totally unrealistic, but then when was porn known for it’s realism?
U is for urine – Not everyone is into golden showers, but they can be quite erotic. When used a form of punishment or degradation, it can really up the psychological mindfuck. It’s “nasty,” naughty, and fun. Everyone should taste someone else’s piss sometime in their lives.
V is for vibrator – They come in many sizes and forms. They can stimulate the clit or massage the g-spot. One in the pussy and one in the ass can work you up and make you cum fast. Guys, don’t forget that p-spot (it doesn’t make you gay unless you already are).
W is for whoring – Men or women, all can be sluts. All can suck cock or take it in their butts. It’s hot to be nasty, and easy, a floozy. When you take all comers, that can be quite a doozy.
X is for XXX – Because we all like that dirty, dirty shit! No PG here, we want it raw and uncut! If you know what I mean.
Y is for Yoni – It’s the source of life and the source of pleasure. It can fuck or be fucked. Suck or be sucked. It’s got mysterious powers and is beautiful to behold. I would write a sonnet to it’s lustrous folds! Long live the pussy!
Z is for zip – Zip up that latex catsuit or unzip that shit. Zip up that tight skirt or unzip those boots. It’s a sound that we all love to hear whether opening or closing. Unzip those jeans and pull out that cock or unveil that pussy. Then you can use zip ties to restrain your slut. So much fun for everyone!